Check out these 32 ways you know you’re a mom.
Once you become a mum you develop some unusual quirks and foibles. You might try and fight them but before too long you’ll discover that you begin to pick up some pretty strange habits that define you as a mother. How many of these can you tick off?
You know you’re a mom when:
There are oatcakes, packets of raisins and a spare pair of knickers (age 2-3) in your handbag.
On journeys you excitedly point out a tractor, even when you realise there are no kids in the car with you.
Whenever you stand still for too long you start randomly swaying from side to side, even when there is no baby in your arms.
You don’t notice the splodge of baby sick on your shoulder or squished banana handprint on your knee until you’ve already been in work for three hours.
You announce to your co-workers that you’re just off to do a wee, like they really need to know where you’re going and what you’re about to do.
‘Netflix and chill’ means putting on seven episodes of Paw Patrol so you can get a bit of peace.
You leave the house loaded with bags like you’re going on a 2 week holiday, just to pop to the shops to buy milk and bread.
You microwave your cup of tea three times before you actually get to drink it hot.
It takes you 30 minutes and 3 toilet trips just to leave the house.
You no longer have a name or identity – you’re simply known as your child’s name’s mum.
You have a carrier bag full of carrier bags in the cupboard under the sink.
You also have a drawer full of emergency greetings cards.
The nearest thing you get to a spa day is when the steam from the dishwasher smacks you in the face.
You buy new outfits for your child but you are still rocking the same pairs of knickers that you have owned for the past ten years.
Before 9 am you may well have touched and handled other humans’ bogeys, poo, vomit and wee. And not even batted an eyelid.
Your dinner is your child’s leftovers.
‘Getting lucky’ used to mean something very different. Now it means that you managed to get both children to nap at the same time and managed to drink an entire cup of tea while it was still hot.
Your definition of mini break is to sit down for 10 minutes and flick your phone.
You enjoy going to the dentist again just for the chance to lie down.
Romance means sitting down on the sofa after the kids have gone to bed and both flicking through your phones with the TV on in the background.
You don’t know the latest songs in the Top Ten but you know all the words to Baby Shark and can sing the entire theme tune to Waffle the Wonder Dog.
You know how badly stepping on a piece of Lego can hurt.
But when you step on one in your kid’s room when you’ve just got them to sleep you can scream silently under your breath.
You have ninja-like reflexes to catch your baby’s vomit in your bare hands mid-air.
You get angsty as March comes round as you know it means you’ll have to make or source yet another amazing costume for World Book Day.
You rock the supermarket shopping trolley as if it were your baby in their pram.
Going to the supermarket without kids feels like a holiday.
You wash the same load of laundry at least twice before you remember to empty the washing machine and take it out to dry.
You have an entire Pinterest board full of kids crafts that you will never get round to actually doing.
And another Pinterest board of amazing recipes that you never get round to making because your kids prefer the 7 dishes you serve up in rotation.
The bins go out more than you do.
When baby goes to Grandmas so you can rest and you spend all your free time looking at pictures of them.